terça-feira, 31 de maio de 2011

Love vrs Passion

Everybody thinks that love don't cost anything…..
But that is a big mistake.

…… before talk about loves prices its better to try to explain at minimum what is love….what means love.

Love my friends is too simple, is that simple that becomes difficult. Almost everybody thinks that:
-just because you miss somebody that is love.
-Just because you think all day about one person that is love.
-Just because you feel happy near that person that is love.
-just because you dream about one person or you feel jealous that is love…
…Its that too but have other things:
Love is respect, friendship, mutual understanding. Love is when you want him/her to be happy with or without you.
You companion don't need to ask for attention, for a kiss… hug….
You feel good just for been with him/her.

You don't feel bored if are not conversations.
You accept that person how he/she is. (Don’t mean to forgive everything)
Love is when you don't need to control yourself to not cheat him/her. (Here what I want to say is that lot of persons use the excuse “I am human” to justify when they are unfaithful. But if you love one person why you need other? One is already difficult you want more?
I can stay here all day talking about what is love.




So let’s talk about loves price.                                     
Everything has a price even love.
When you love one person you give your love for free right?!! But that makes love be very expensive.
What I mean?!!


1º- love becomes expensive and not for free because you are giving one thing from your heart. And you need to know that he/she didn’t ask for that. So don't expect anything back. He/she will love you without any obligation.

(I am not talking about persons that have obsession for the other and they think that he/she needs to give love back)

2º- who is “receiving” your love maybe wants it or maybe not and than you need to accept that.

3º- not always he/she knows how to receive that love and what to do with it.
That becomes difficult when he/she is immature or selfish.

…there is much more reasons to make love have a price. Both sides pay.
Who give and who receive.

If you really love one person even if he/she doesn’t love you your love will not end.

Relationship is when 2 persons work as one and never when one is working as 2.
Many persons have a relationship where they are the only one who is doing something for the relationship. And that is only west of time, self destruction and pain.



Love vs. passion


 Almost everybody thinks that love and passion are the same. It’s a very big mistake.
(To understand what I want to say here you must read what I wrote about loves price).
Exist:

passion without love

• It’s the beginning of something … body attraction, illusion, interest…
Only start to be love with time.

• That person attracts you physically.
You want that person. You feel desire and that don’t involve love.

• You don’t think. You do stupid things. You act by impulse.

• You think that without that person you will die. Or you exist to make him/her happy.

• It’s a state of spirit and ends too fast if your companion change in what were attracting you (will talk about it at the end)

• Sometimes passion transforms into a disease. (Obsession or dependence)
You feel pain when that person is not near you and you start living for that person.

• Everybody say I love you when what they feel is only passion.

• Fire. A desire that burns you inside.

• Her/his smell, voice, touch (etc) make you crazy




           love without passion

• Very beautiful feeling.

• Simple and pure.

• Respect and mutual understanding.

• You understand and accept that person like he/she is.

• Can be platonic.
Is when you love and respect one person. But don’t have physically contact.

• Usually after time in one marriage passion ends and you have only love.
After long time together you get used to your companion and you know him/her very well.
(There exist many reasons to explain why passion ends but I will talk about it at the end)

-(did you ever repair that many times a couple after some time together they act, talk and think in the same way? That is because he/she becomes part of your life and you assimilate his/her habits and characteristics). Of course it’s not always like that.

• Many times you know one person long time and you start talking more with him/her, you start knowing that person better and suddenly you start loving that person for what he/she is. You can love him/her for long time or all life without ever feel passion.




love with passion                                  

• Strong feeling…

• You understand and accept that person like he/she is and you feel desire for him/her.

• Imagine love and passion together!?!
Perfect mach. Your relationship or marriage will not end.

(To not end you must understand what is love and that only a small group of persons are capable to understand).
NOTE: understand is different from know!!! You can know things but never understand them.


So let’s talk about ‘why love, passion and marriage ends’!!

NOTE:
You must know and remember 5 things that are strictly interconnected between them!!!!!!!!

1-  Unfortunately exist lot of persons that they pretend to be one thing but are other person completely different.
If you are not lucky you meet a person that pretends to be one thing and after married he/she starts showing what he/she really is.
Don’t need to be after married, we meet this kind of persons every day at work, streets, family, friends etc.

2-  Many times what happened is that we create many illusions and air castles just because is convenient for us. We are afraid to see the reality or we don’t want to see it.
Is our fault if suddenly we repair that our companion or person that we know is not what we thought. Why? How many times we u used to give one person a “face”? We create in our mind one person that don’t exist and believe that our companion or the person we know is exactly what we think. (Women love to do that)


3-  Persons change after marriage!
After marriage we think that our companion belong to us so we don’t need anymore to conquer him/her like we did at beginning. We change or we start acting like we really are and our companion get a big disappointment because he/she didn’t marry with this stranger.
Or we just stop caring about our appearance like we did at beginning.
Romance disappears. We leave the routine kill any kind of desire and feelings.


4-  As I said before in LOVES PRICE any kind of relationship only works when 2 persons are working as 1 and never when 1 is working as 2!
5- Usually we like one person because:
- He/she dress in one way.
- He/she is tall or something else.
- He/she have a cute nose.
- He/she seams to be kind with me. (did you repair if he/she is just polite or just nice person?)
  Etc etc etc
These things change with time. Habits, body, etc are in constant changing.
Love one person for who he/she is and not for what he/she is or represent.


SO!!!!
Love or passion ends if one day we wake up and see that the person with whom we get married don’t exist anymore.
What we do?? We learn to love this new one person or we just move on (usually ends in scandals, tragedies etc).
If love and passion ends, marriage ends too
Is in our hands!!! Save your relationship, don’t forget yourself and your half.


I hope you understand all what I wrote till now.

So now I will talk about one thing very important. It’s about another reason that explains why our relationships, friendships and marriage end.

Men and women are different!!!!
  No one is better than other but they are different!
You can’t compare 2 different things when they are completely different but is what almost all of us do all our life.


What I mean?!

 Ex:

- Man brings food and protects his family, he is the chief and he takes decisions. His body is bigger (to work and fight). He is good on strategies.

- Woman stays at home but don’t think that we are not important.
We have intuition. We hear well and we say to whom or to what belongs that sound but we can’t say from where is coming (we don’t have orientation).
We see well, if a man open the refrigerator he don’t see the bottle of milk that is in front of him but a woman see. We can repair at minimum details everything around and we are very sensitive that’s why we can know when someone is lying or something is wrong. We learn languages faster and we start talking first when we are babies.
We see 360° that’s why persons use to say “that woman can se what is happening behind without look back”.
……. Etc. etc. etc.

- Men and women act, think, talk, feel in different ways.
- We have different habits.
- Different way to understand things.
- Since beginning of our existence man and woman have different skills.
- Each one has his own obligation in front of society and family.
But why all this? Exactly because we stay at home and we must know what our family members feel and need. If something is wrong. If is dangerous around. Not only man protects his family a woman too.
Now woman don’t stay at home anymore and we compete with men.
But many women forget that we are woman and not men.
I AM NOT SAYING THAT WE MUST STAY AT HOME LIKE SLAVES!!!!!!!!!!
But we can’t lose our feminism and start acting like men.
Man is a man!!! Woman is a woman!!!
We are gentile and delicate like flowers and not grotesque creatures!!!!
We can work and leave free but have some things that only a man can do because is his nature.
We didn’t born with a penis between our legs so let’s act according to the nature.


Just a small Example:

1o
Woman
- We use WC like one social club.
Women that never saw each other before WC they look like best friends after.
Man
- But everybody will think badly if a man ask to one other “ I am going to WC do you want to come?”

2o
Man
- They can’t watch one program without changing the channel million times.
Woman
- We watch the program, the publicity and whatever comes.

3o
Man
- In times of stress men drinks and invades other country.
Woman
- We eat chocolate and go shopping.

4o

Woman
- We criticize men’s because they are insensitive, indifferent, because they don’t listen what we say, because they don’t feel compassion, because they don’t talk and they don’t give enough love, because they don’t do anything for the relationship, because they want sex and not make love, because they leave
the lid of the toilet bowl open
 … ETC!
Man
- Men’s criticize the way how we drive, they criticize us because we can’t read a map, because we don’t have orientation, because we talk too much and never get to the point, because we don’t make enough initiatives about love and because we leave (…)

5o
Man
- Man never find anything but he have his CD organized in alphabetical order.
Woman
- We can always find lost things but we can’t find the direct way to go some where.
 
6o
Man
- After work they only want to take a shower, eat and watch TV without talking.
Woman
- We are ready to talk all day without stopping and we want to talk with our man what happened today, what we did, who we saw etc. (we talk, talk, talk… we talk who did what, who said what and what we answer, we start describing everything at minimum details, colors, clothes…).

And other million big and small differences

What I mean is that we are different. The same specie with 2 different worlds.
We need to understand and accept these differences.
Don’t expect from a man reactions and attitudes that only a woman have.
Don’t expect from a woman to be rational or objective and to think like a man.
Conversation is the way to mutual understanding.

All what I wrote is not enough.
These subjects are very extensive and they require being deeply
explored and constant research.
All what I said here maybe is only 5% of what really means
love, passion, man, woman ...etc!